So, just when I think everything is going to be OK. DH had a late night at work, I'm talking not even in the door until 10:15pm (He leaves for work around 11am) and really would like to quit and find another one. He goes through these phases where everything will be ok with work and then all the sudden it's so horrible that he wants to walk out of the door multiple times throughout the day. We were talking the other night about how he should just try to move up within the company and see if that helps his situation, but now he wants to quit and tell me ANYTHING is better than what he is doing now. I told him that I didn't care if he quit but that meant that if we were to get pregnant, I would have to work and we'd have to put our child in daycare. He really didn't like that. He went on to tell me how he would never want our children in daycare. Sometimes I think that if we did have a child right now, he'd just buck up and just deal with the problems he is having at work. He doesn't tell me all the problems but what I get out of the situation is that it is super stressful, he doesn't get a break for lunch (which is not an exaggeration, he just doesn't), and he's around a lot of people that don't work hard which makes his job harder since he is second in command and in charge of all the employees except his boss.
I wish I had the right words to say to him. I wish he would just be happy that he has a job and that we don't have any financial problems. Ever since we've been married, he's had job issues. He's had about 6 different jobs since we've been married, but has been at his current job for 3 years. I wish he could see the other side of things and know how this makes me feel and I wish I completely understood how he felt about his job. Now, we get to throw IF in the mix. So we are still trying but then I get anxious about if we were to get pregnant, who knows what job situation we'd be in. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. but right now I just want to know some answers!
Does anyone have any advice on this?
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7 years ago
I don't have any insight, friend, because I identify with you :( We're about to move out of state, N has to find a new job, and we've been trying for almost four years now. On hold because of the move and job transition, and I struggle not to feel discouraged. All I can offer you is something I learned about two years ago: N is extremely dedicated to taking care of me, and even though he sometimes doubts himself as a future father, he is extremely dedicated to providing a good future for our someday-children...he doesn't complain about his work unless there is seriously something wrong. I don't know your hubby, but he sounds like mine in your post - he sounds like N, when he just can't take the stress of his job anymore and needs to vent to me. I learned that the absolute best thing I can possibly do to help him is to just listen, and let him know that I support his decisions because I know that he will make them based on very careful thought and prayer. And to my amazement, just being supportive like that helps! Maybe it would help your Mr? *hugs*
ReplyDeleteNot so much advice, Just...I can understand how you are feeling. I think it is totally natural to want our husbands to "suck it up" and be the provider. I do not think there is anything wrong with that, but on the flip side, we need to support our husbands and help nuture them through stressful times. Well, wait maybe I do have advice, have you spoken to your DH and told him how this makes you feel? Maybe you should? I am not saying, that the talk should be about him quitting or staying at his current job, but how when he is stressed/coming home late...how you are affected? Maybe he needs to hear this...
ReplyDeleteGood Luck
I am sorry you are going through this! It does sound like your husband is a great guy who really has a stressful job (no lunch? I would be physically ill!). I have to admit, I too go through these phases as your hubby, and it stresses my husband out when I talk about it. What I want him to realize is that I have the same goals as him... I don't want to abandon our financial stability or just live for myself. But sometimes I also just need something to give... jobs take up so much of our daylight hours and can majorly affect our happiness. I'd say keep praying together about a long-term solution. Sometimes our present situation feels much worse when we can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. My hubby likes to remind me that in X amount of time, I will be able to make X changes and that takes some of the edge off each hour of the day.
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